Everything About Nothing
by Blarrg
Summary: Crackilicious crossover. Contains Zelda, Mario, Digimon, Yu-Gi-Oh, LOTR, POTC, PokeMon, Maruto... and others. Insanity ensues. Co-authored by Muu-chan.


Disclaimer: We own nothing. Not even a plot! Dude, just a bunch of plastic figurines and a dollhouse…

Blarrg: Seriously… It's just like a waffle ninja… Tasty and good, but…

Muu-chan: Hey! I resent that!

Blarrg: That's enormous!

Muu-chan: Okay, warning time: Plotless, OOCness, craziness, stupidness, and casualness lay ahead. Also, twincest and yaoi. Be warned! XD

Blarrg: Don't forget the mpreg and possible 'strong language'. Oh my gumdrops! What the fries?

Muu-chan: Great galloping gumdrops, Muffinman! Don't forget the crazy fortune-telling neighbor and drunken Italian man! Censored

Blarrg: Oh, and I just remembered… don't yell at us for Latias being a fish all you PokeMon peoples… this one had the wings broken off and looks like some sort of fish

_Chapter One_

_WTFZERZ?!_

"Angst! Angst! Angst!" Each declaration of teen angst was accompanied by a loud thud.

Wizardmon looked down from his sink, "Hey, Kratos. Wassa matta? Yo're makin' mah wata ripple!"

"Aaaaaarhg!!" He smashed his head into the wall, the force of the impact knocking the mirror down on Wizardmon's head, then ran screaming across the upstairs. Unfortunately, he wasn't paying attention and fell down the elevator shaft. Latias squeaked indignantly as Kratos landed on her back. The poor fish!

"Oi! What's goin' on down the'?" Ganondorf's voice came from the top of the shaft, almost indiscernible over the sound of screaming infants.

Kratos stood up, "I'm fine, Dad! God! Leave me alone! Can't you see you interrupted my angst time?"

"What have I told you about angsting in the house?"

"No angsting near the windows or on the nice furniture," Kratos replied irritably, "I know, I know!"

"Ganny, come help with the kids! They won't stop crying!"

"Okay, Honey, I'm coming!" he looked back down the elevator shaft, "Just be quiet with the angsting! You woke up the babies!"

"Whatever," Kratos muttered. He left the elevator shaft after patting the fish on the head and apologizing for landing on her. "Now, to the Angst Cave!" Couch fort… Whatever…

He flopped down on the couch and tried to smother himself in the pillows. Dad would've been mad if he saw what Kratos was doing. Something about getting angst on the furniture. For some reason, Ganondorf thought it left stains in the upholstery…

Zelos, Kratos' twin brother, walked in casually, flopped down on the couch casually, turned on the TV casually, and started flipping through the channels casually. After a few minutes, he casually patted his brother's leg and asked casually, "Are you trying to kill yourself again, brother? You know Dad won't be pleased. He loves this couch very much."

He always was good at being casual about things…

"Wait!" Kratos randomly blurted, currently forgetting about his angsting, "I want to watch WLIIA!"

Zelos looked at his brother skeptically, "WTF? You want to watch whales?" he asked, losing his casualness.

"No, no, no!" Kratos shook his head, "The show with the people and the things and the stuff and the funny and the Canadian guy with the huge bald spot! You know, the show on ABC!"

"Oh… Yeah…" he switched to ABC, still confused. He paused for a moment, then continued casually, "You're not on drugs, are you?"

"Uhhh… No?"

"Then what's wrong? You usually make more sense than this…"

_Ding Dong!_

Kratos jumped up, declaring, "I'll get it!" He rushed to the door, pushing Aunt Impa out of the way. He opened the door, revealing the crazy fortune teller from next door.

"Oh, hey Lucario. Wassup?" Kratos said coolly.

"Oh, hey, I was wondering if you could spare a cup of Latias?"

"Uh… don't you mean sugar?" Kratos asked in confusion.

"Good heavens, no! That'll go straight to my thighs!" Lucario gasped –really, he did have big thighs- ""She's the sugar in my tea. But you see, I'm all out of sugar."

"Uhhh… Right… I'll go get her then…" he retreated into the house to get the fish.

"Blub?" she asked, backing away slightly from the angsty teen. One never knew who could fall on one in _this _house!

"Hey, yeah… That guy from next door wants you. Something about tea."

"Latias?"

"Exactly."

"Blub blub," Latias said with a shrug and head to the door. "Blub?" she asked, eyeing Lucario cautiously.

"Would you like to come over for some tea?" he asked.

"Blub blub!" Latias said happily.

"I'll take that as a yes!"

And the two left, skipping merrily. Though… no one was quite certain how a fish could skip…

"Kratos!"

He flinched, hearing Zelos yelling for him. This couldn't be good, the oh-so-cute King of Casual yelling… "Yeah?

"What's wrong with you, man? Shoving Aunt Impa like that… You know she only has one arm!"

"Yes," Impa glared at him, leaning against the wall menacingly –which was surprising due to her lack of a left arm and right ear- "I think I deserve an apology."

"You owe _your mom _an apology, Impa!" a voice randomly shouted from the kitchen sink.

"Shut up, Wiz!" Impa barked back, "Don't make me bust out the Drain-O!"

"Yeah, yeah. You're all talk, no Drain-O, Impa!"

"Oh, that is _it_!" she shrieked, running into the kitchen. It was fortunate that the plunger was upstairs…

"Kratos! Zelos!" Link's voice from upstairs.

They both looked at each other and sighed, then proceeded to follow the sound of infants to the nursery. Things were starting to calm down a bit…

"Yeah, Mom?" Zelos asked casually. Kratos averted his eyes, embarrassed.

Ganondorf, their father, rocked Pooky gently while Link breastfed Gnome. Embarrassing in the first place, but add in the fact that their baby brother was some sort of fuzzy, blobby thingy with wiggly tentacle ears…

"I need you two to go to the store. Your father and I are kind of busy, and your relatives are coming over later."

And thus began the quest for groceries… Dun dun dun!


End file.
